Part of good self-esteem is admitting that you’re somebody worth loving. That your dreams and ambitions are valid. That you’re worthy of pursuing your dreams and achieving success.
Yet so many women express to me their concern of appearing prideful, bragging or arrogant if they step out into their greatness. All too often, we’re guilted into mediocrity under the guise of being humble, not tooting our own horn. And if we do stumble into success (since we’re not supposed to actually pursue it), we’re certainly not supposed to talk about it. Can you relate?
False guilt can cause self-sabotage.
We hear things like “Pride comes before a fall” and “The meek shall inherit the earth.” We assume this means weak, passive, and timid. So we hold ourselves back, giving into the self-sabotage because it’s better than being accused of pride, arrogance, or self-glorification.
But what’s the true definition of meek? Does is mean be a weakling? A wallflower? A nobody?
No. The only 2 people in the Bible who were ever called meek are Jesus and Moses. Either one of those men strike you as a wallflower?
Meekness means “power under control.” Pastor Rick Warren described it as a wild stallion once it’s been broken. Full of power, yet power that’s now “bottled up for his master’s use.”
Meek can also be described as not lording your power over others. Knowing that your cause is greater than yourself. Having a desire to serve.
Now THAT sounds like a heart-centered entrepreneur, doesn’t it?
If you know you’ve been called to serve others with your business – if your business is an expression of what you were put on this earth to do – you have power under control.
You were made with a purpose. Will you fulfill it?
God declares that you were made with a purpose. Obviously, he’s got a spiritual purpose for your life. But he’s also called you to have an impact on the world. Why shouldn’t that include your business?
He gave you your dreams and desires, your passions and ambitions.
You can ignore those dreams and desires, squash the Holy Spirit working in you, and die with your message still inside you.
You can give in to the self-sabotage, and be a Nobody.
Or you can embrace your dreams, go for it, and have the impact you were meant to have. And when you’re doing that, you will stand out.
The choice is yours.
Unfortunately, standing out often comes at a price.
I talk to so many women whose dreams have been crushed by supposedly-spiritual men and women who tell them that their goals and ambitions are selfish and ungodly. They take initiative, and they get shot down and guilted back into submission – back into blending in and not standing out.
They’re told, “Don’t give in to self-promotion.” (I actually read this on a blog about “how to be a godly woman” not too long ago.)
They’re told, “You are nothing.” “Be like a child: Don’t strive, just dwell. Anything else is selfish.” (I read those statements on a blog recently, too. SMH.)
Hear these things often enough, and it’s easy to sabotage yourself. After all, you want to please God, don’t you? You know you have to deny yourself to be a good Christian. You can deny your dreams if it means bring righteous. Can’t you?
And so the self-sabotage begins.
You think, “Who do I think I am to have big dreams? Shouldn’t I just be content with what I have, and let that be good enough?”
And before you know it, you’re a victim of The Nobody Syndrome. “I’m just a nobody,” you tell yourself. “I’m nothing. God will use me if he wants to but I won’t pursue my dreams because it’s arrogant to think that what I want is important.”
You give in to the self-sabotage. You hold back. You don’t pursue your dreams with the intensity you feel called to.
And admit it: doesn’t a little bit of you die every time you deny your dreams?
And not in the die-to-yourself-and-live-for-the-Lord kind of way. You die in the I-feel-lost-and-don’t-know-who-i-am-anymore kind of way.
PLEASE, tell me who is served by that?
NO ONE.
Not you.
Not God.
Not the people who need to hear your message.
Fortunately, the cure for “The Nobody Syndrome.” is fairly simple.
Stay tuned to find out the cure for this self-sabotaging behavior.
