The Three Pillars of Self-Worth: Myth vs. Fact

Today’s world seems so confused about what constitutes self-worth. On the one hand, we have self-agrandizing celebrities who are famous just for being famous, or outright divas who demand the world and pitch a massive hissy fit when their staff gives them the wrong water bottle. On the other hand, we have a generation of fragile little egos who can’t take criticism and who fall apart at the first sign of struggle.

Some call it confidence. Self-esteem. Loving yourself. Self-image. Self-concept.

No matter what you call it, to fully understand what self-worth is, we must first talk about what it is not.

Self-worth isn’t entitlement.

It’s not the false sense of self-esteem peddled by our modern society which coddles people and makes them feel entitled just for existing.

You know what I’m talking about: Baseball teams where everyone receives a trophy just for showing up.

Soccer leagues where no one keeps score so there are no winners and losers (you know,  so we don’t crush the kids’ supposedly fragile self-esteem).

Helicopter parenting where we rescue kids from the consequences of their mistakes because we’re so afraid to let them fail.

 “Sorry, chicky. You don’t get a trophy just for showing up in life. And Mommy won’t always be there to protect you from making mistakes.

There’s no foundation to that “self-esteem.” That’s simply an entitlement mentality that teaches people that the world owes them something. It breeds narcissism and poor coping skills.

We do our kids (and ourselves) a grave disservice when we don’t let them struggle and fail and learn from their mistakes. It’s the struggle, the overcoming, the getting back up after you fall that builds real self-worth, not constant compliments and over protection.

Self-worth isn’t narcissism.

Despite the examples we see from hot-headed celebrities, real self-worth isn’t an all-consuming love of yourself to the exclusion of all others. But it is about loving yourself.

Self-worth comes from knowing who you are and what you were put here on this earth to do. It comes from knowing that you’re an amazing masterpiece – made on purpose, with a purpose. It comes from total acceptance of yourself – even the parts that aren’t fit to print in your bio 🙂

[Tweet: “Self-worth comes from knowing who you are and what you were put here on this earth to do.”]

It’s about being empowered.

Real self-worth is founded on what I call the 3 Pillars of Self-Worth:

Competence,

Character, and

Core Values.

These qualities – when built on a solid foundation of self-awareness and self-acceptance – lead to real, solid self-worth. The kind that overcomes failure, disappointment, and trauma. The kind that allows you to take risks, love deeply, and have the confidence to live your purpose. The kind that changes you, and changes the world.

How do you see Competence, Character, and Core Values related to self-worth? Leave a comment below!